FANFARRON by Dennis Doph (Wagenblatz)

Parallel Universe. 31

Out of the ether of the bold Brazilian jungle
Comes the quirky term "Fanfarron"
Term used deliberately to raise a bone
In a sexual connotation one must not bungle

Term meant to be used with much asperity
To describe one who is not what he might be
Once one has seen the surface of what he might see
...but beneath that? Nothing of any clarity

Such as the brilliant superstar Madonna
Who tries to pass herself off as the Queen of Sex
She'd better be prepared to cash in her checks
Before they're cancelled. And, for her Honna
None of us could possibly disagree
She should stop making punk flicks like W/D.
Her vaginal exertions might raise a blista
She is a High megaton Fanfarronista.

Then there is the once-superboy Adam Sandler
This whey faced fool sure needs another handler
Though he thinks his boyish ways are still cute
Audiences have given this piece of dreck the boot
Before the memory of his former cuteness is gone
He can be nailed as another Fanfarron.

Then there is Doris Day; once the Pinkest of Pinks
Thirty years is a long time between drinks
Before she put her butch DA in a bun
She should have played lustful Mrs Robinson
Or stood beside those other elderly Dollies
To play the stay-at-home gal in Sondheim's Follies.
Upping the ante at 87 cannot raise that blista
She's been exposed as one more Fanfarronista.

Even more succinctly, Mitt Romney's brain is swimmin
As he endorses his party's War on Women
These bastards really should lay off this tack
What they're proposing cannot be taken back
So before he prepares to don the Presidential Robe
Let's see what his bony butt can do with a vaginal probe.
On Gingrich! On Santorum! On Karl Rove! On Donner!
They have all been outed as Fanfarroner.

PICKET BURN by Dennis Doph aka Wagenblatz

Parallel Universe. 6

Mitt Romney
Is nothing if not essentially versatile
A flash of those teeth
Could shine out for a mile
Squaring those manly shoulders
Could make an old woman young
always contrives
To seem kind of manly and hung
Can take a firm position
With obligations infinite
Then change his position
As soon as he'd begin it
Constant flipflopping
Simply makes no sense
And he has Picket Burn on his ass
From straddling the fence.

His Baggage has its own Baggage
Always subject to change
Grandpa's butt is too cold
To ride this particular range
Thinks he has Moxie
Like a real political rockstar
Then he straps the family dog
To the roof of his car
Supported Universal Healthcare in dear old Massachusetts
Now condemns anything but private healthcare
For your Whatsis or your Whoosis

Advocated arbitration with Iran for quite a long spell
Now firmly behind blowing
75 million Persians to hell
Thought Freedom of Choice
Was the bellwether for all women
Now thinks Personhood should be granted
To every precious drop of semen

Been Out There for years
We always know where to find him
Still no more than 23% of Republicans
Care to get behind him
Cold as a cucumber;
Why should we care?
Long as he remembers
To change his Magic Underwear

Thinks his boring chambray shirts
Qualify him as a Cuntsman
there is ONE intelligent Republican/Mormon candidate
But his name is Jon Huntsman

Herman Cain's
Having "J" for Jesus carved on his perineum
Is pretty intense
But Romney has Picket Burn on his Michigan stern
From sitting on that fence!