NOTHING IS FOREVER by Wagenblatz

Parallel Universe. 29

"Nothing is forever", said Bogie to Claire Trevor,
Pushing Robinson into the tub,
Out there on the floor lay Old Man Barrymore
Lying in for a lanolin rub.

"Forever is nothing," said Lionel to his sister,
As she paired off and squared off against Cary,
"For if the truth be told you are far too old
And Cary is way far too merry."

"Nothing is handy," said Cary to Randy,
As Skip Homeier crawled in between,
"and wherever we go there's always Amigo
Unzipping and gripping the scene."

So Trevor wore fuschias and Bogie got abushias
And Robinson ate his cigar,
Behind Barrymore's shiner was tiny Luise Rainer
Pretending she once was a star.

"No one is able," said wee Betty Grable,
As she reeled off some improbable names,
At the top of her flower was twee Tyrone Power
And up her bottom was Harry James.

"I'm able to dig it," said Billie at the spigot,
Preparing to tie off her arm,
But as she shot up that damned Carm MacRae pup
Proceeded to dish out the charm.

"Dig it and bury it," said Van from his chariot,
Using Hodiak's pubics for floss,
While still on his belly he was trod on by Gene Kelly
Who treated all of Metro as dross.

"Dross is so gross," cried Lansbury of Angela,
Smearing on Factor #5,
Tripping on the stair she tripped over Frank Langella
Blowing Burl when his "Ives" was only "Ive".

"I've done this before," said Big Burl to Charles Bickford,
Stepping over the Franchot of Tones,
"and once through this door we will act like before
And both shtupp Miss Jennifer Jones."

"My Jones is erected," said Gable as he connected
With loverly Marilyn at Reno.
Marilyn got even more grand as she jumped on Montand
And blew out Thelma Ritter at Keno.

Ah, big stars and little, pretentious and brittle
Rolling over each other like tanks
Where Mayer was once merry there soon was Dore Schary
Who proceeded to trim all their ranks.

"This is all kind of looney," said dear Mickey Rooney
Thinking himself an imperishable star,
Now he's a vague ninety-three, as forgotten as can be
Just as off-track as dear dead Jack Paar.

Nothing is forever in this crazy endeavor
Nothing is what it is cracked up to be
Nothing could be finer than tiny Luise Rainer
As she hoves up one One Hundred and Three
Claire Trevor was more clever but she didn't last forever
Like Luise at One Hundred and Three.