EUCHARISTIC ADORATION by Wagenblatz

Parallel Universe. 24

There in the nave of Ave Maria Cathedral
Kneeling on their bumpy bony knees
The Adoration of Agnus Dei society
Knelt, prayed, thrashed each other
All vying to be more God-fearing, more
Gay-hating, more Woman-bashing
Than his whip-wielding neighbor.

Newt Gingrich came in with Callista
She was dressed as Joan of Arc
Carrying a stake followed by six Agnus Dei students
from Georgia, and a pile of faggots
(not to be confused with their pals)
They were prepared to burn Callista at the stake
Right there in the nave of Ave Maria
Terrified, she pantsed Newt before all and sundry
Pried open his enormous anus malformatus
Used her nose for a probe. Newt waved to the crowd
Promised he and Callista would start their Moon Colony
Before November; and, if elected, the price of gas
Would revert to 25 cents a gallon The way it had been
Under Ike.

The crowd roared. Then Sam Brownback Governor
of Kansas came in with his retinue 25 members of the
Shawnee Tribe near Topeka; to a man they stripped
to red white & blue thongs and lacerated poor Sam
Which amused Catholics in Topeka; they remembered
When switch-hittin' Sam was a Democrat.

Then the crowd went wild as Rick Santorum, his skanky
wife (who looks like she has been squeezed out of a tube
of toothpaste) and his seven malnourished children (same)
paraded in to the cheers of the foule. The Archbishop of
Kansas City elevated the Host; it was a dildo in the shape
of Santorum's penis.

A small Host, but a Host nonetheless. Newt cringed as
Callista once again used her letter opener nose on his
fundament; Brownback's blood was running in the aisle
of Pew Seven.

All screamed:

AGNUS DEI! AGNUS DEI! AGNUS DEI!

Now we know where this is going. Not to the White House.
What happened to Rick Santorum as an altar boy? Wanna guess?

Yeah. You're right. That's why MAN ON DOG is a mild
epithet coming from his bee stung lips.

Draw your own conclusions.